I've been listening to Supermassive Black Hole by Muse a lot. aha. Let's play baseball, anyone? hahahaha. So yesterday night, i decided to jog from my house to Mak's place. It was tiring and sweating but i got to the destination safely. I jogged by Chinese garden, short-cut. You faggs don't expect me to follow the mrt line right, mati aku. aha. While jogging, i did some thinking and clearing off my mind of stuffs. It's like kemas rumah, just that it's your mind. (: It was a good jog. Then i met Suriati, and jogged some more until it have to rain in Toh Guan. -____-" Then, when the rain stopped, we just went home(her place), watched Desperate Housewives and ANTM(cycle11) at her place. And i decided to sleepover. Fun giler babi okay. I miss her. Well, i just came back from Mak's place, and blogging this.
Oh, i dreamt about A, that kid again. It's like third time in a week already. What is farkin' wrong with me? I've to stop thinking about him and move on. Orang kalau dah menyampah, jangan lah kau nak terheygeh-heygeh. That's what mummy told me, everytime. So yeah, since he can't be bothered that I'm actually alive and worrying, so why should i care, right? Somehow, i find it wrong to think this way. This, I'm not blaming anyone. I just feel that it's okay for me to go out and date any swaggers who wanna date me. (: but I'm very sure, I'm waiting for him, to realise that I'm already here. I think by the time he realises it, I'm already gone or it's too late. I have a difficulty moving on with my life before, and i did it poorly. But DSL came to my rescue and took me away from my misery, why? I gave DSL a chance. BUT, DSL abused it. So i let him go. Another breaking point, when i, nuremilia, did the "let's break up" part and felt that i left a guy who is actually will always be there when i needed someone emotionally, physically and financially. But money ain't the problem. I was devastated, i felt like i ruined my life. I swear that I'm not over DSL but I'm moving slowly and yes, i mellowed down, i live my life like how i lived my secondary school years after he passed on before DSL came to my rescue. But this time, no one came yet. And I'm still waiting and wait till whenever. See, guys give hopes to me a lot, but this is what happen to me, I'm too gullible and like what Fad said, I'm emotionally distorted. So who's to blame? Me, not the guy. Why? Because I'm easily falling into guys' trap. I need to see a phsycologist on this kind of things. Bah! I'm done. till my next post, suck 'em balls.
*come meet me halfway, if you want me to be with you.
